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> [b]collection Of Sardar Jokes[/b], Read it from first page
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post Mar 3 2006, 02:55 AM
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Suicide Bomber

Sardar joins the suicide bomber squad. So when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp his leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.

He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?

Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Sardar: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?

Boss: Wait for more.

Sardar: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?

Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after.

Sardar pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.!!!


This post has been edited by Guruji: Jun 16 2008, 04:34 AM
 
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post Mar 3 2006, 02:55 AM
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post May 14 2008, 05:33 AM
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Santa Banta Fishing


Santa Singh & Banta Singh rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.

One day they had a huge haul of 30 fish. santa said to Banta.

“There’s lots of fish here! Mark this spot so that we can come here

tomorrow.” The next day when they were driving to rent the boat,

santa asked banta , “Did you mark that spot?” Banta replied,

“Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the boat!” Santa said, “You fool! What if we dont get that same boat today!?!?”
 
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post May 14 2008, 05:34 AM
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Hanging on for Life


There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.


Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”

After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.
 
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post May 14 2008, 05:35 AM
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Sardar on a Flight


Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as the sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested the sardarji to leave the side seat. But the sardaji told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".

The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested the sardarji to leave that seat. But sardarji was adament and did not leave. Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the sardarji, and the sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to the sardarji. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh. All others will go to Jalandhar
 
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post May 14 2008, 05:36 AM
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Sardar at Jurassic Park


This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him: "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai".

Sardarji replies: "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai, lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata".
 
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post May 14 2008, 05:38 AM
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Sardar in Pain


A Sardar went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.

"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the man.

"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The Sardar touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then he touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch!

That hurts, too." Then he touched his right earlobe, "Ow, even THAT hurts", he cried.

The doctor checked him thoughtfully for a moment and told her his diagnosis, "You have a broken finger."
 
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post May 14 2008, 05:39 AM
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Sardar at the Udipi Restaurant

Sardar Santa Singh goes to a Udipi hotel to have something to eat. He orders for Masala Dosa. The waiter promptly gets him the dish but is surprised to see that Santa eats only the masala leaving the dosa behind.

Santa then orders for 1 plate Samosa. Again this time the waiter notices that Santa eats only the filling and not the shell. Waiter is very curious. Santa next orders for Batata Vada. This time around also Santa eats only the filling and leaves the shell behind.

The waiter is losing his patience and walking upto Santa asks him, "Sardarji, aap dish ke under ka hi cheez kyon khaa rahe ho, kya baki cheez pasand nahi aaya..?"(why are you eating the inside stuff don't you like the rest of it.)

Santa Singh says, "Arre bhaiyya, aisi baat nahi. Hamaari tabiyat kuch teekh nahi isliye doctor ne kaha ki baahar ka cheez mat khaya karo..."(I am not feeling so well so the doctor told me not to it outside stuff.)
 
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post May 20 2008, 04:30 AM
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Experiment

Sardar was doing experiment with cockroach, first he cut it's one leg and
told WALK. WALK.

Cockroach walked. Then he cut it's second leg and told
the same.

Cockroach walked.

Then cut the third leg and did the same.
At last he cut it's fourth leg and ordered it walk! But cockroach didn't walk.


Suddenly sardar said loudly, "I found it. If we cut cockroach's four legs, it
becomes deaf.
 
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post May 20 2008, 04:41 AM
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small jokes


Interviewer: what is your birth date?

Sardar: 13th October

Which year?

Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Manager asked to sardar at an interview

Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O- X.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.

Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underwear'


Teacher: What?

Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,

Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife: No! Why?

Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village??

Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi

So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is Jayanthi.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a political rally sardar was arrested. Why???

A woman journalist walking with a badge wrote "PRESS" and He did it..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto, the driver adjusted
mirror. Sardar shouted,

"You are trying to see my wife? Sit back. I will drive.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he
started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he
doing.

Sardar pointed towards the board "WASH BASIN"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Interviewer: just imagine you are on 3rd floor, it caught fire and how will
you escape?

Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination! !!
 
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post May 20 2008, 04:58 AM
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Sardar ji is buying a TV

"Do you have color TVs?"

"Sure."

"Give me a green one, please."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Sardar Ji calls Air India .

"How long does it take to fly to Amritsar ?"

"Just a sec," says the rep.

Thank you." says the Sardar ji and hangs up.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardar ji is filling up a job application

He promptly fills in the lines on NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc.

Then came the column SALARY EXPECTED

After much thought he writes: Yes

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji goes into a store and sees a shiny object.

He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?"

The clerk replies, "That is a Thermos flask."

The Sardar asks, "What does it do?"

The clerk responds, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The Sardar says, "I'll take it!"

The next day, he walks into work with his new Thermos.

His Sardar boss sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with you?"

He said, "It's a Thermos flask."

The boss asks, "What does it do?"

He replies, "Keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The boss said, "Wow, what do you have in it?"

The Sardar replies, "Two cups of coffee and a coke."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.

Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints
like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?

He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.


---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does Sardarji do when he has one white sheet and wants an extra
sheet?

He makes a photocopy of the white sheet.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There was a meeting of all the Surd freedom fighters.

They were planning for a free Punjab . Santa Singh raised a point,

"Oh...we'll take Punjab from India but how would we develop it?"

That was a tough one indeed. Banta Singh had a brainwave...

"No problem! We'll attack Amrika, it would take over us and then

we would become a State of USA and develop automatically. "

All the surds became happy with this very simple solution but an old surd

was not. Someone asked him why he wasn't happy.

The old surd replied, "THAT'S ALL VERY WELL...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TOOK OVER AMRIKA???"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain.

"I would like to buy this small TV," he told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.

He hurried home removed his turban and changed his hair style, and returned

to tell the salesman

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied.

"Damn, he recognised me," he thought.

He went for a complete disguise this time, haircut, new hair colour,

new outfit, big sunglasses, waited a few days, saw the salesman again.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.

Frustrated, he exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a Sardar?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed.
 
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post May 20 2008, 05:04 AM
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How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?

Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting
crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and
angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefoot!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?

Run like crazy....he' s got a hand grenade in his mouth.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?

Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
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