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> [b]collection Of Sardar Jokes[/b], Read it from first page
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post Mar 3 2006, 02:55 AM
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Suicide Bomber

Sardar joins the suicide bomber squad. So when he is given a mission to suicide in the enemies camp his leader supply him a lot of weapons and bombs stacked to his body and mobile for communications.

He lands up in the enemy's camp, called his boss: Sir, there are 2 enemies soldier, can I suicide now?

Leader: No, not for two, wait till you see more soldiers.

Sardar: Sir now there are 25 can I do it now?

Boss: Wait for more.

Sardar: Sir, now I am in a midst of 100 soldiers, can I suicide now?

Boss: Yes, go ahead, you will be a martyr, don't worry about your family, we will look after.

Sardar pulls his knife and stabs himself in his chest.!!!


This post has been edited by Guruji: Jun 16 2008, 04:34 AM
 
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post Mar 3 2006, 02:55 AM
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post Feb 19 2008, 12:11 AM
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Smart Sardarji

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.

The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.


This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:09 AM
 
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post Feb 19 2008, 12:22 AM
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Smuggling

A sardarji comes up to the Pakistan border on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered the Sardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains the sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the sardaji, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the sardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says the Sardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, the Sardarji doesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'


The Sardaji, sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:11 AM
 
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post Feb 19 2008, 12:26 AM
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Staying in Hotel


A Sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to
Boston.After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to
continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and
take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back
on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill
for $350. The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why the charge is
so high.
He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly
aren't worth $350.
When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, The man insists on
speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji,
and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge
conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
But we didn't use them", the Sardarji complains.
Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for
which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York ,
Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.
But we didn't go to any of those shows," sardarji complains again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies. No
matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies "But we
didn't use it". The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally
gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the
Manager.
The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $100." "That's
right," says the sardarji, "I charged you $250 for sleeping with my
wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well," the Sardarji replies, "she was here, and you could have ."


This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:14 AM
 
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post Feb 19 2008, 12:27 AM
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7 Sardar's

There is this group of 7 Sardars who plan to meet their old friend the
President Dr. Zail Singh

The Sardars decide to take a taxi.

The taxi driver takes them to Rashtrapati Bhavan.

The meter shows Rs. 28/-, so the taxi driver says, "You have to pay me Rs.
28/-."

Now, the Sardars have to share the cost among themselves and so they decide
to divide the total (Rs. 28/-) by the number of people, i.e. 7.


This is how they do the calculation to arrive at the answer:
____
7 | 28 = 13 ( 7 x 1 = 7, 7 x 3 = 21 ).
7
--
21
21
--
0
--

The driver is exceedingly happy upon receiving Rs. 13/- from each of the
Sardars. He thanks them profusely and the feeling of happiness is writtern
on his face as he leaves them and proceeds his way.

Seeing this, the Sardars feel that they may have made a mistake.

They decide to ask Zail Singh about it. After all, the fellow was the
President of the nation!

They ask Zail Singh to check their calculation of the taxi fare.

Zail Singh ponders over the calculations and finally says, "See, I am
not
good at division. The process just boggles me but addition is something I am
an expert at. Let us add all the amounts you guys gave to the taxi driver
and check the result. This is how I do for those tax forms I get very
often. The process is slow but is sure." The other sardars nod their heads
(?) in appreciation.

The President writes as shown below and also explains as he writes on:
13
13
13
13
13
13
13
--
28
--
i.e. 3+3+3+3+3+3+3= 21 and 21+1+1+1+1+1+1+1=28 so this checks out.

He then says, "Yes, it's correct. But I can also call my close friend and
Finance minister Banta Singh.

Banta Singh arrives, and when told of the problem, he replies that
he
doesn't think it is a bad deal but says, "No problem! I will verify it via
mathematical computation. I'll verify it with multiplication. That is
the
best technique for this, you see!"

While others watch in admiration, Banta Singh goes on to write as
shown:
13
x7
--- (7*3=21 ,7*1=7 so 21+7=28)
21
+ 7
--
28 This checks out as well.
--
Then he says, "This is really fine. There should be no problem, President


This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:16 AM
 
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post Feb 19 2008, 11:47 AM
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Archery contest

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.

The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!

The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!

Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!!


Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY

This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:26 AM
 
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post Feb 22 2008, 09:42 AM
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Santa Banta on Double Decker Bus


Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh.

He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's going' on? Why are you scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?" Scared Banta replies.


"Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "

This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:28 AM
 
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post Feb 29 2008, 12:36 PM
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thanks da..i will
 
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post Mar 29 2008, 04:51 AM
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Sardar in a Mirror Shop

Once a Sardarji goes to a mirror shop to buy a mirror.He wanders all over the shop before the shopkeeper comes and asks him,"May I help you?".

Sardar: "I want a very strong mirror".
Shop keeper: "Try this one sir!Its just Rs.1000/-"



Sardar: "Is it really that strong?"
Shop keeper: "Yes sir. If u want to know, you can throw this mirror from 100 storeyed building
.

This mirror does not breaks upto 99 floors sir!!"

Sardar: "Wah! bahuth badiya hai!!"

He pays the shop keeper and leaves with that mirror!!


This post has been edited by DeaR: May 19 2008, 12:32 AM
 
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post Mar 29 2008, 12:36 PM
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QUOTE (alina @ Mar 29 2008, 05:54 PM) *
nice jokes i liked the first three very good

thank u alina maadam lol4.gif
 
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